Most adults have experienced times when it felt as if our body was betraying our wishes. What I mean is that sometimes our bodies do things that our mind does not want it to do. I think the simplest form of this would be when body parts fall asleep. Try to walk on a foot that has gone to sleep and you will know what body part betrayal is all about.
In my life I have had all sorts of body parts go rogue on me. My knees have locked up while I was walking causing me and the ground to meet face-to-face at a rapid pace. I often have muscle cramps that nullify my ability to stand-up or walk. These cramps are in my calf muscles usually but they can also show up in both the front and rear of my thigh muscles. The strangest of all these are the cramps that are on the inside of my thigh going into the groin region. As far as I can tell, there is no good way to stretch these out once they start.
But above all other things that have happened, the one that had the greatest impact on my life was Bell's Palsy. I went to bed one night feeling fine and woke up the next morning feeling equally fine. In fact, I did not know anything was wrong until I started brushing my teeth. I tried to drink some water to wet my mouth and a large portion of it poured out of my mouth, down my chin, and back into the sink. This apparently did not set off alarm bells and in the groggy haze of only being awake five minutes I went on try and brush my teeth. Moments later I have slobber, snot, and toothpaste dribbling down my chin and it finally registers that something is not right.
In fact, the first thought that ran through my head is that I'd had a stroke. After waking my wife we went to the emergency room to be told that it was not a big deal and that lots of people get this thing called Bell's Palsy. I never did make a full recovery but I have recovered to a point that most people do not notice the slight droop on the left side of my face. Other than facial expressions that have changed permanently such as my smile, the only side effect that continues to bother me is that I bite my jaw while eating much more often than I did before.
Now the one part of my body that has never really failed me has been my brain. Certainly there have been times when I could not remember something. Names, dates, and numbers are common place things that we all forget and yes everyone loses small things. But, most people have never experienced true betrayal of our thoughts. Perhaps that is why one of my, and many other people's, greatest fears involve losing our mind in some way. This also explains why so many horror movies are set in and around mental institutions.
Any person that has a friend or family member that is dealing with Alzheimer's disease will be able to tell you how horrific diseases of the brain can be. Indeed, my heart goes out to all persons that have loved ones suffering through mental illnesses. Your own brain can cause you the greatest betrayal imaginable. This is the seat of your own Self, everything that makes a person an individual resides in the brain. If your brain gets mixed up in some way, it is possible to lose yourself completely. I cannot imagine anything scarier.
This post was written because I have been thinking about my mother quite a bit lately. After years of chemo-treatments, it has taken its toll on her brain. She is in relatively good shape both physically and mentally but we know that she will be facing issues going forward. We are doing everything the doctors tell us and are trying to plan for the future but we currently have very few answers. I will perhaps write more about my mother's condition later but for now I will simply say that my heart aches for my mother facing what is one of my greatest fears.
No comments:
Post a Comment